Obit - hanging out the dirty laundry

First let me tell you that this was written by a bunch of my grandson Michael's friends who got together over some beers and wrote it as if it were Michael's own words. I hear he was a great photographer and had a talent for writing. Buckle your seat belts, cause this isn't like any obit you've read before. I'm still rocking from my first read through. ----------------------

Michael Alan Schoening

- May 13, 2010
Michael Alan Schoening, a well known and fearsome redneck adventurer chose to end his life on the morning of May 13th 2010. He was renowned for his quick wit, gritty back woods charm, and uncanny ability to wreck other people cars. He had an energetic imagination that could turn the most mundane set of events or experiences into elaborate and impromptu stories that would send anyone listening into convulsive and debilitating laughter. He could deliver spontaneous and monstrous fabrications with utter sincerity and his dead pan humor and sarcasm could turn the most bitter tragedy into a ludicrous farce.

Mike hitchhiked his way around the country in his early 20's explored our country and took up residence in Rhode Island, which he referred to as, "The smallest, stupidest state." If any one place could claim responsibility for spawning and nurturing this rare specimen, it was Amador County, to which he continually returned. As he put it, "The world is full of stupid a-holes, but Amador County is full of a-holes I know" (Mike, of course, did not say "a-hole"). The times he moved to other places like Sacramento, Sonora and elsewhere, he tried to drag the worst parts of Amador with him, like his scalawag cohorts Joel and Dart. Mike was a connoisseur of four-wheeling, drinking, shooting guns, senseless acts of vandalism, and loved getting high.

He was brilliant, hilarious, we loved him, and the world is a darker, duller place without him. He is survived by his mother Linda, his best friend Erin, his grandparents, his dog "Rocket", hundreds of loving friends, and the remainder of the God-forsaken human race.

"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass-production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."